Teenage Armchair Fandom (Subbuteo-style)

Continuing with the Half Man Half Biscuit-inflected 'Subbuteo' -themed series of still life paintings, this latest composition - essentially a study of a slight reduction in scale of the represented objects exploring the potential of a larger, more complex proposition - references the title and subject of the song 'I Was a Teenage Armchair Honved Fan' and thus features our miniature heroes sporting the colours of Honved on the left, in the red and black strip, and their Budapest neighbours and rivals - to whom I became attracted and attached as a pre-teen and have favoured since - Ferencváros in the green and white to the right. I've blogged on the subject of this very teenage armchair fandom as it relates to European clubs teams previously, at some length and in some detail, but this seems to be the first time I've made such an allusion in paint.

'Teenage Armchair Fandom (Subbuteo Budapest derby)'

oil on canvas/25cm x 35cm/June 2018

The pair of miniature figures are here represented as being placed in their cutout slots in the cardboard box of the type in which complete teams of players were/are presented for sale or otherwise in the boxed sets of the Subbuteo game, as will be obvious to anyone with even a passing acquaintance with such. It's noticeable that the plastic bases reflect more highlights in this state than being placed on a horizontal surface as previous examples have been, which helps give a bit more painterly 'zip' to proceedings.

An Alternative Christmas 'Want'?

Following-on from the previous post, the latest painting on and off the easel mines the same Half Man Half Biscuit-inspired subject-matter a little more deeply and quite possibly obscurely, this time depicting a vintage Subbuteo football (soccer) player figure sporting something of an Ujpest Dozsa 'away' kit.

'Subbuteo Footballer #6 (Ujpest Dozsa 'Away')

oil on canvas/35cm x 25cm/June 2018

Christmas 'Wants'

Continuing with the current series of small still life paintings, the latest pair (as they’ve become, related) again feature vintage ‘heavyweight’ Subbuteo football player figures (circa 1960s-70s), empirically observed as objects, but here sporting invented colours, the first inspired by the title and lyrics of the legendary and much-beloved in this parish  Half Man Half Biscuit‘s early song ‘All I Want For Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit’, thus being an idiosyncratic representation of, based upon what research reveals to be pretty much established facts, with a nod to period generalities of Subbuteo style.

'Subbuteo Footballer #4 (Dukla Prague)

oil on canvas/40cm x 30cm/May 2018

The matter was by no means laid to rest upon the resolution of this painting (as I assumed it would be), however, as a particular research find served to rock the concept to its very foundation, with Nigel Blackwell‘s revelation here that it was his initial intention to lyrically reference not Dukla Prague but another East European football club – indeed, another Hungarian one to accompany the also-legendary Honved, of whom he wrote and sang of being ‘a teenage armchair fan’ (see here for a personal ‘adversarial’ response to this, which might help explain a lot, not least an obsession with the romantically-named football clubs of Hungary and Budapest in particular which began in the 1970s and continues to this day) – in the form of Ujpesti Dozsa, who’d opposed British teams in numerous European club competition ties during the late Sixties to mid-Seventies, but had unfortunately been unable to make such a lyric scan.

Accordingly, and in particularly multi-nerdy manner, what is (re)presented below is a ‘hand-painted’ interpretation/approximation of the traditional Ujpesti Dozsa colours of purple and white – the former of which is perhaps a little too blue in hue, especially when compared to the mauve of Subbuteo vintage as they represented teams such as Anderlecht and ‘Austria Vienna’.

'Subbuteo Footballer #5 (Ujpesti Dozsa)

oil on canvas/35cm x 25cm/June 2018

This imagining of the ‘home’ colours of Ujpesti yet creates another doubt, of course – did the song’s character instead desire the ‘away’ version, and is another painting in order to address this possibility? To be brutally honest, another painting is already in order to address the failure of this unsatisfactory offering, so perhaps watch this space for further developments.

In other, more important news, there is coincidentally a brand-new Half Man Half Biscuit album, in vinyl LP, CD and mp3 download format, to enjoy, which is most advisable under these and indeed any circumstances.

I Was a Teenage Armchair Ferencváros Fan

Amongst the current reading/browsing/inspiring material being indulged-in is a volume entitled ‘Cover Versions’, dedicated to the genius of Steve Hardstaff’s music-related & other graphic design, & lavishly illustrated throughout with fine examples of. One of these, the sleeve of the legendary Half Man Half Biscuit’s ‘Back Again in the DHSS’ LP, features, as well it might, front & back, with the track listing on the reverse reminding one of the album’s contents & thus serving to motivate the following.

The song title ‘I Was a Teenage Armchair Honved Fan’ chimes rather with my personal interest in & following of European & other overseas football in addition to the domestic game, & also, of course, an enduring, simultaneous passion for music. I must admit to being seduced by the glamour of the names of continental football teams & players from the off, perhaps a consequence of my first proper exposure to football being the 1974 World Cup, which had no other British presence than Scotland’s brief involvement in the tournament. Then, I recall one of the earliest editions of Shoot! magazine which came into my possession, during the autumn of ’74, featuring, amongst its ‘Results’ pages, records of recently-played European club competition fixtures featuring British clubs & of course their intriguing-sounding opponents, including Norway’s Stromsgodset, capitulating 0-11 to Liverpool, & Hungary’s Ferencváros, who were in the process of eliminating Cardiff City from the Cup-Winners’ Cup before going on to do likewise to Liverpool, on their way to that season’s final, where they sadly lost to Dynamo Kiev. Add in a name such as Belgium’s RWD Molenbeek, busy hitting Dundee for four on the Scots’ home turf, & it became obvious that Europe offered a veritable treasure trove of clubs it would prove to be impossible not to adopt amongst those to be followed & favoured, as indeed are those three clubs to this day, even if Molenbeek have gone through many a fresh start & rebranding during the intervening years & long ago ceased to exist as such (they appear this season to be plying their trade in the second tier of the Belgian league structure as RWDM Brussels): in the fantasy football world that prevails at least within the confines of TOoT Towers, they’re among the much-loved powerhouses of European football.

Stromsgodset

Ferencváros, circa 1967 (love those green shirts with the white sash, a most interesting take on the club's traditional colours)

RWD Molenbeek

Our beloved Ferencváros are by no means the only club in Budapest, let alone Hungary, to be vicariously supported – the fabulous-sounding Vasas &, to a slightly lesser extent, MTK (particularly in an earlier incarnation as MTK/VM) also feature strongly on the radar, as do some of the provincials, most notably Raba (as they once & most sexily were) ETO Gyor, Videoton of Szekesfehervar (who couldn’t love a team who eliminated ‘Newton Heath’ in a UEFA Cup penalty shoot-out?) & other ineffably romantic names. Curiously, in the light of the genesis of this post & unlike HMHB, I’ve always remained pretty much ambivalent to the charms of Honved, although, having said that, they’ve always been more tolerable than Ujpest Dozsa, to whom I’ve never been able to warm for whatever reason. Of course, it’s not only the names that attract & excite – aesthetics play a significant role too, & in the context of those Hungarian teams, Ferencváros’s & Gyor’s green & white colours, Vasas’s & Videoton’s red & blue & MTK’s white with blue sash are irresistibly stylish combinations. Such allegiances, whilst existing in the here-&-now, also allow the space to dream – a recent spot of browsing a volume of historical football results revealed a the fact of a Second Round UEFA Cup tie during 1975-76 between Vasas Budapest & Sporting Lisbon - another very favourite team, not least for their green & white hoops with black shorts outfit - a fixture that in the world of TOoT could reasonably & happily constitute the Champions’ League Final in any given season, such is the romance those names conjure in one’s heart & soul. It’s strange how fantasy takes one, how one muses upon what could/would have been a more ideal world – only the other day I was idly considering how the 1975 European Cup Final would have seemed so much more attractive had it been contested between Atletico Madrid (who should have qualified for the tournament as holders, having beaten perennially unlovely Bayern Munich in the previous year’s final rather than being thwarted by a cruel last-minute equalizer against them) & Borussia Monchengladbach (who would have won the 1973/74 Bundesliga), perhaps having beaten either Saint-Etienne or Sporting Lisbon & Barcelona respectively in the semi-finals, in thrillingly close-fought ties that could, indeed, have gone either way – let’s be honest, Barca v Saint-Etienne or Sporting would be a glorious aesthetic spectacle too (especially considering the reality was a grim, riot-afflicted battle between Bayern - midway through the nadir of their terrible reign of dominance of the Champions’ Cup - & Leeds United, sporting unimaginative all red & all white strips).

Vasas Budapest

Atletico Madrid

Mention of Atletico Madrid & Barcelona accounts for the Spanish & Catalan contingent numbered amongst the very forefront of the European ‘armchair favourites’, which also includes Ajax of Amsterdam; KRC Genk (particularly of quite a few Belgian teams & some of their numerous rebrandings – names such as Mechelen, Westerlo, Lommel & Mouscron, for instance, have a charm all their own - & an affection for their League in general, as, indeed, also applies to Holland); the aforementioned Saint-Etienne in France & Sporting Lisbon in Portugal; Prague bears similarities to Budapest in that I seem to be quite keen on a number of its residents, however conflicting that might appear, including Slavia, Sparta, Dukla & Bohemians – Dukla Prague, of course, are another legendary east European team to famously feature in the title of a Half Man Half Biscuit song, in a Subbuteo-related context; Red Star Belgrade & Hajduk Split endure from the former Yugoslavia; Rapid Vienna in Austria; Grasshoppers Zurich & FC Basel in Switzerland; our especially beloved Internazionale in Italy; Werder Bremen, the Borussias Dortmund & Monchengladbach, & Dynamo Dresden in Germany (where, in the old East - & we do suffer a little from ‘Ostalgia’ – we also had a bit of a soft spot for Dynamo Berlin, in spite of the Stasi associations); Dnepr Dnepropetrovsk & Karpaty Lvov in the Ukraine (whilst retaining a preference for the Soviet-era Russian spellings, the English transliterations of the Ukrainian devotion to ‘i’s being a little too harsh for our eyes & ears); Dynamo Minsk in Belarus; Spartak Moscow in Russia; Galatasaray & Trabzonspor in Turkey; Panathinaikos in Greece; there’s Valkeakosken Haka & always another team or two – usually including whoever from Oulu - & the late, much-missed Kuusysi Lahti in the oft-shifting landscape of Finnish club football, though never HJK, & there’s always scope from a few new clubs scattered across the continent to pop up on the list, to which, expanding horizons beyond the continent, should be added Penarol & Boca Juniors in South America.

Ajax

KRC Genk

Saint-Etienne, circa 1976 (the almost-great European days - "Allez les Verts!")

Sporting Lisbon

Slavia Prague

Galatasaray (kits of course being a serious deciding factor in favouritism, this wonderful historical compendium coming courtesy of Wikipedia)

Coincidentally, the 2013/14 edition of the always-essential European Football Yearbook (newly-formatted!), replete with stats, reviews, all our favourite teams & many more fabulous names from all of Europe’s continental & domestic competitions, has just arrived through the post: it’s time to go & lose oneself within its pages…